Sun-Kissed Fashionista: *Weightloss Journey*

So clearly I am not the greatest at writing in my blog.

Now that that's out of the way....I recently started up again on getting fit and losing weight.
Craig and I got engaged on September 24, and the wedding will be next fall.
So that is a HUGE motivation for me to lose weight!

Another reason, which I may be more frank about in the future after I have lost some weight, is the weight that I have gained over the past year and a half.
We're talking ballpark of 20-30 lbs!

I hit my highest weight (that I know of), about a month ago when I was weighed at the doctor's office. I had avoided the scale at ALL costs for the entire summer, if not longer. Ugh. I knew I had put on weight, and I knew that my clothes were tighter than they have ever been and I have felt so completely uncomfortable in my skin for the last year or more. But seeing the numbers on that scale was a wake-up call. I HAD to do something before it actually became a health risk.

I like to think I have hid the weight gain well. I have a very athletic/muscular build by nature. And when I gain weight it seems to distribute throughout, with some more love in places than others, but are for the most part, concealable.

Anyhow, Monday October 13, was the day I started my weight loss journey, again. And with more determination and zeal than in the past. And this time I have vowed not to count calories, or to count macros. No counting of any kind. I don't doubt that it works, but it doesn't for me. The reason being is it stresses me out, makes me obsess about food and calories in a way I don't want to and isn't healthy, and for me, it's not a sustainable, long-term way to live life. I don't always want to be counting and measuring and keeping track of the foods that I eat. I have enough stress in my life as it is, I don't need that. It also makes me feel SO restricted in what I can and can't eat and makes me have the mentality of "good" foods and "bad" foods. I just don't like it. Props to those who can do it, but for me, it's just not worth it.

I decided I would approach things a little differently this time. I've come to find over the past year or so, that I have become and emotional eater. I don't think I always was, I believe it is something that developed for me, due to life circumstances. Stress. Food was always there to help me feel better. I would eat when I wasn't even hungry. I would eat way too much, until I was stuffed. I always ate fast. I often had 2nds at dinner. I ate a lot of junk foods and fast food. I'm a sucker for salty and sweets (at times). Though I also did eat A LOT of fruits and veggies, the balance of all of those foods wasn't good. And my exercise was on and off.

So this time around, my approach is this. Eat when I am hungry. Eat slowly and listen to my body. Drink tons of water (already had that one down pretty well). Eat smaller portions. Use the small plates at meal times. Make healthier choices in my foods. Use fresh ingredients in my cooking. (I already cooked 85%-90% of meals at home, just not always using healthy ingredients). Focus on what makes my body feel good and fueling my body with good foods. Eat intuitively. Don't binge or overeat, but if I want to have some potato chips, or cookies, or candy, I can. But I should just have a few. Not the whole bag. Not filling up on it. Also, I wanted to get better at running and build up my endurance. I started the Couch to 5K program again. Also started going to my favorite Zumba class on Monday nights. And lift weights heavy and target areas of my body I want to tone and lean out.

I think that is a doable approach. I have to believe that I will lose weight with this approach, since I'm not sure what other approach I can take and make into a lifestyle. One thing I do need to focus on is getting rid of that darn "diet mentality" and "good" food vs "bad" food. All foods are fine in moderation. Balance is KEY. It makes sense. Since balance is KEY in life, why not in nutrition as well?

I started last Monday. I didn't get a chance to weigh that day, but I did last Tuesday. I had lost 6-10 lbs since the doctor's visit. I felt great! But I also thought maybe one of the scales is way off. Who knows. But my scale is the one I have to go by. I measured Wednesday. Most of last week I did well. I exercised 4-5 times last week. I made healthier food choices most of the time and cooked healthier dinner for my family.

I definitely had some negative and bad thoughts come creeping in and trying to derail and demotivate me. Like when I was getting dressed for church on Sunday and a dress that had fit quite loosely over a year ago was now very tight on my arms and across my chest. But I kept going and didn't let those thoughts stop me for too long.

I weighed myself today and the scale had gone up. Disappointment and all sorts of other bad feelings and thoughts came into my head. But I shrugged it off and had to tell myself to give it time. Just keep being positive and doing what I'm doing and it will all turn out.

One last thing before I post some pics. Today I did NOT want to go running. I'm not really a fan of it yet. But I got dressed in my workout clothes, took my pre-workout, got my Polar FT4 watch on and got my music. I went outside to start running (just around my neighborhood) and I became incredibly self-conscious and wanted nothing more than to just go home and do a workout there and not get my run in. I was wearing a shirt I don't normally wear due to it's ability to works it way against the body and show the rolls I've worked hard to conceal. I normally wear loose cotton tanks. This is one of those dri-fit shirts. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Like "Oh! There goes the fat girl running/walking." But then I turned it around. I kept going so that I wouldn't have to feel like that much longer. Let that shame fuel my workout. And also turned the thoughts from "Oh! There goes the fat girl running/walking." to "Hey, she may not be super fit, but at least she's trying." Got my run in and then worked biceps after and felt really good.

Ok...that's all for now!